Don’t bring me down

Negative moods are highly infectious, but you can protect yourself 

By ERIC ADLER 

The Kansas City Star 

http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/living/13476128.htm 

Psychologists call it “emotional contagion.” But you can think of it as Scroogeology or Grinchonomics. 

Better yet, think of it as the woeful friend, the crabby boss, the depressed party guest whose moods are so melancholy that, despite your good cheer, they suck the joy from the season. 

The effect is far from imaginary. In the last five years, a growing body of psychological research — much of it focused on the emotionally negative or positive boss — is bearing out the power one individual’s mood can have on others. 

“It is one of the most robust phenomena I have ever seen,” said University of New Hampshire researcher Richard Saavedra. “And it’s all unconscious.” 

Fortunately, he said, just as Bob Cratchit and Cindy Lou Who refused to let Scrooge or the Grinch dampen their spirits, modern and age-old strategies can combat the draw of your own Debbie Downer. 

As University of Michigan psychologist Christopher Peterson said, “That’s why we have eggnog.” 

Recent evidence is consistent. 

In the March issue of The Journal of Applied Psychology, Saavedra and colleague Thomas Sy at California State University at Long Beach examined the effects of a leader’s mood on a group. 

They took 189 volunteer undergraduates, divided them into 63 groups of three and told them they were going to take part in a team-building exercise: putting up a tent. 

Before the exercise, a “leader” chosen from each team was shown one of two video clips — “Saturday Night Live” skits or a vignette on torture — designed to induce a positive or negative mood. All team members’ moods were measured before and after the task. 

Result: The leaders’ moods ruled, and negative moods ruled most. If a leader was up, some team members’ moods also rose. But if he or she was down, everyone was down. 

In May, Purdue University psychologists presented similar results in Chicago at the annual meeting of the Midwestern Psychological Association. 

Janice Kelly and Jennifer Spoor took 43 pairs of undergraduates and asked them to complete a task. One was designated the leader, the other the subordinate. The leaders, again, were shown movie clips, this time of the “choice” scene in “Sophie’s Choice” or a scene from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” 

Bad moods ruled again, with negative proving much more contagious than positive. 

Other studies show that the effect goes beyond leader-subordinate relationships. Separate studies of college roommates, dating couples and spouses all show that when one gets depressed, the other also becomes more depressed. Studies in Britain of groups of nurses and accountants showed that, within the same work group, individuals tended to share the same up and down moods. 

“The idea is, you go to a holiday party and you’re happy until you enter into an encounter with someone who’s down or depressed,” said Sy of Cal State. “The next thing you know, your positive mood no longer exists. It has been hijacked ” by this other person’s bad mood. You go off wondering, ‘What happened?’ 

Explanations abound. One is evolutionary, harking back to our animal selves. 

People possess a vast range of troubles. But despite even grave concerns, humans in cultures worldwide generally report themselves as feeling fairly upbeat and positive, said Hope College psychologist David G. Myers, a scholar on happiness and author of The Pursuit of Happiness: Who Is Happy and Why? 

Positive moods, therefore, are the norm, making negative moods stand out like an emaciated Santa. They’re cause for alarm. Something’s wrong. In the animal world, those that don’t instinctively notice and react to such warning signs do so at their own risk. 

“The original form is the contagion of fear and alarm,” said Frans de Waal, a psychologist and primate expert at Atlanta’s Emory University. “You’re in a flock of birds. One bird suddenly takes off. You have no time to wait and see what’s going on. You take off, too. Otherwise, you’re lunch.” 

In other words, getting caught up in another’s negativity is hard-wired, unconscious and powerful. 

“I have often noticed how primate groups in their entirety enter a similar mood,” de Waal said. “All of a sudden, all of them are playful, hopping around. Or all of them are grumpy. Or all of them are sleepy and settle down. In such cases, the mood contagion serves the function of synchronizing activities. The individual who doesn’t stay in tune with what everyone is doing will lose out, like the traveler who didn’t go the restroom when the bus stopped.” 

Now toss in empathy. 

Although each of us may think of ourselves as individuals with our own emotions, we’re not, said University of Virginia psychologist Jonathan Haidt, author of The Happiness Hypothesis, published this month. 

“We are fundamentally hive creatures, like bees and ants that have evolved as ultrasocial creatures,” he said. “We are exceptionally influenced by what is going on around us.” 

When we encounter a Grinch or Scrooge or wearisome gloom monger, a) it captures our attention, and b) if we don’t feel attacked, we’re apt to empathize. People don’t say, “Hey, you’re down; I’m up! So who cares about you?!” Myers said. 

“We take on the other person’s pain to some extent,” he said. 

We sit. We commune. Research has long shown that we respond in like ways. They frown; you frown. They smile; you smile. They furrow their brows in conspiratorial disgust; you listen and furrow yours. 

Natural and unconscious, the phenomenon is called “facial mimicry.” Coughs, yawns and laughter are contagious for the same reason. 

“Acting as another acts helps us feel what another feels,” Myers said. 

And feel it in very real ways. 

Research shows that being exposed to someone cheery makes you cheery, but not as much as being exposed to a spiritless grump makes you depressed. As British researchers showed in work published last year, the phrase “I feel your pain” is more than a saying. 

At London’s University College, psychologist Tonia Singer and colleagues used brain scans to explore empathy in 19 romantic couples. The experiment was simple. Both individuals were hooked to brain scans. One was given a slight electric shock while the other watched. Scans showed identical brain reactions. One partner was shocked, but the other partner’s pain center lighted up as if he or she had also been jolted. 

So it goes with the holiday killjoy. 

“Everyone wants to be civil, but unfortunately he draws your attention. You can’t help it, because that somberness stands in contrast to your generally pleasant life,” Saavedra said. “But before you know it, you’re drawn in and the ” only thought is, ‘I wish I could get out of here!’ 

Strategies exist. 

“In general, the key is awareness,” said Sy of Cal State. “The most insidious aspect of a negative mood is that, often, it infects you unconsciously. If you realize, ‘This person is depressed. I’m catching his mood. That is why I’m depressed,’ you can manipulate it. You can control it.” 

The controls vary by person and situation. All of them come under the heading mood lifters. 

Whereas, for some people, that might mean jogging or music or surrounding themselves with positive friends, for others it might mean an hour at the gym slugging a punching bag or kvetching with colleagues or a raucous night out. 

Shopping. Movies. Family. Eggnog. 

“There are lots of tricks we use. We do it every day, pump ourselves up,” Sy said “Why do we eat chocolate when we know it’s going to make us fat? Because it makes us feel better.” 

Then there is this hopeful note. 

Spirit-sapping Negative Nellies are powerful, yes. But research out of Stanford University and elsewhere also suggests that the moods of people who feel their emotions intensely — whatever they may be — are also highly contagious. 

In other words, in the presence of merry spirits like Ol’ Fezziwig, the Scrooges of this world don’t stand a chance. 

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To reach Eric Adler, features reporter, call (816) 234-4431 or send e-mail to eadler@kcstar.com.

Law of Attraction: Finding a Job Using Deliberate Creation

Some folks are good at creating relationships, some at creating money. One thing I’ve always been able to do easily is create wonderful jobs for myself. Over the years, I’ve taught this skill to many of my clients. Here’s how: Rather than concentrate on a specific position at a specific place, think more about what elements you’d like to have in your job.

See yourself working. Visualize yourself doing whatever it is you want to do If you are not sure what you want to do, ask yourself things like: Do I like working with people or alone, do I want to be in an office or outside, do I want to work with computers and electronic equipment, or with people? Or both?

What kinds of people do you want to work with – needy people, sick people, children, people who are your equal in some way, customer service, sales, computer nerds, or doctors? Fun people? Serious people? Easy-going or hard-driving people? Helpful people? Do you want regular hours and regular responsibilities, or do you want freedom and flexibility in hours and job tasks?

Then move on to how you want to feel in a job. You probably want to feel emotions like: trusted, competent, praised and appreciated, happy with your pay check, friendly with your co-workers, liked by your co-workers, eager to get there each day, a sense of accomplishment, and so on. Make your own list.

What is your environment like? Do you want to drive or take the bus to get there? How do you like to dress – jeans and sneakers or professional business attire? Of course, these are not either – or questions, and there is no right answer. It is fine to say, “Yes, I want that AND that” Ask yourself as many of these as you can think of.

Write out your perfect day at work. What would you be doing? Who would you see? What is your schedule – how do you fill your time?

Then begin to visualize and FEEEEEL yourself there. See your interactions with co-workers and clients, hear the conversations, how is your office or cubicle decorated, hear the praise of a job well done, see your pay check in your hand – or your direct deposit statement – and feel glad and happy at the amount and feel anticipation at the ways you will spend it. Let your imagination go. Do this as often as you think of it, without any pressure on yourself. It should always feel good and be fun to do. If it feels like a task, or if any bad feelings or thoughts come up like, “This could never happen to me”, stop and go do something else until you can get yourself back into a positive mood. Each time you visualize, do it for 3-5 minutes or so. Not very long.

When I did corporate consulting and was wanting a new client, I would affirm things like: I want enough personal time. I want to love what I do. I want to wake up each morning looking forward to being there. I want to feel valued and appreciated. I want to talk to people. I want to have fun and laugh a lot. I want to be playful – and since I’m often playful with words, I want to be understood. In terms of kinds of people I wanted to work with, I would say: I work with easy –going people who laugh a lot. I work with people who are helpful. I work with people who easily share credit for our accomplishments. I work with people who are intelligent, and competent and capable. I work with people who are friendly. I work with people who share my interests and are easy to talk to. I work with people who have the same education level as I.

For environment, I would focus on: I work in a beautiful, quiet space where I have my own ample area to work decorated the way I like. Your desire might be to work in a bustling hive of activity where something new is always happening to keep you on your toes. I would go on to affirm: We have the best coffee at my office and there are lots of good and cheap restaurants in the neighborhood for lunch. My hours are flexible and I can work whatever hours suit me as long as I get my work done. My client gives me absolute trust and total freedom, but is available if I need to ask questions. I have an easy commute. There are lots of handsome, single men at my job. (If you want that.) And for pay, I wrote: Every time I look at my paycheck, I’m thrilled. I make more money than ever before. I feel valued and important. I am happy with my salary.

Some of what I wrote when I created my coaching job was: I like people whose eyes squinch when they laugh. I want to express my truth and my knowing. I want to help. I want to give aha’s to everybody. Freedom – yes! And free time – yes! Convenient, beautiful environment. Beautiful!!! Good coffee!!! Savvy, intelligent, funny people – yes! Music! And fresh flowers always on my desk.

It doesn’t matter if you write in the future tense, “I want . . “ or if you write in present tense, “I have . . “. Write it in the way that is most believable to you and that brings you the best feelings when you say it or think about it. Read over what you’ve written as frequently as you can and feel the fun and joy and satisfaction of having the job of your dreams. Say it over to yourself when you think about it; it doesn’t have to be verbatim, but just think about the qualities you want to have.

Ask your Higher Self to guide you to opportunities that match what you like. (Not match what you think you are ‘’supposed’ to do or ‘qualified for’.)

Then begin to ‘act as if’. What will you do when you have that job? Do it now. Will you drive a new car? Pretend your car is the new car – smell the new car smell when you get in. Will you shop at different places? Begin to shop there now – window shopping or buying small things you can afford. Do whatever you can to step into the role you want. If you still don’t know exactly how this job might look, see yourself as a confident, prosperous person and act that way. When I wanted to develop my coaching business, I had a ‘coach’ walk. Every time I noticed myself walking dejectedly to my then job, I asked myself how would I walk if I had the job I really wanted. And I began to walk like that. It was subtle, but I threw my shoulders back a little and held up my head a little higher, and then I felt the excitement of the job I was creating.

As you feel guided by your intuition, send out resumes and go to interviews. When you do either, see them first, in your mind’s eye, being well received. See your resume being set aside as “a special person we want to call in”. Before the interview, see yourself feeling poised and confident, see and hear the interviewer shaking your hand and saying she or he is “sure you are perfect for the job and welcome aboard!”.

Allow yourself to feel the joy of anticipation and your dream job will come very quickly. I promise.

Copyright 2005 All rights reserved.

Lorna maintains an international Law of Attraction Coaching practice. From time to time she has openings for new clients. If you would like some help in consciously using the law of attraction in your life with ease, contact her through her website: http://www.transform-u.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lorna_Levy

QUANTUM CONSCIOUSNESS By Gillian MacBeth-Louthan

Imagine yourself sitting in a beautiful park surrounded by 100
Dalmatians. Each one of these dogs is trained to serve you, to honor
you, to listen to your every command. Whenever you have a thought
these 100 Dalmatians responds to it instantly. Obeying your every
word, action, thought. Doing this 24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
year after year. The Dalmatians honor you as a god, as a creator.
Wanting only to give all that you think you want. This little
parable explains QUANTUM CONSCIOUSNESS, in a digestible,
understandable way.

Everything in the Universe is composed of sub-atomic particles
called Quanta (or Quarks). These particles are so small they have
eluded physicists up until recently. Quanta are constantly in a
state of flux. Changing with chameleon like properties to suit the
thoughts of whoever is observing them. In other words every thought
changes the quanta. If 10 people were observing these subatomic
particles everyone would see something different. Now take this
awareness and place it in your everyday life, with the understanding
that the world as you know it responds and mirrors you’re every
thought, word and action.

All that is in material form in the world is solidified quanta, such
as your car, sofa, money, etc; everything else is unformed quanta,
waiting for you to give it physicalness. Imagine all of the air in
the world as unformed Quanta (in truth that is what it is). With
every breath you take you are inhaling unformed quanta, ciculating
it throughout your body, through your thoughts, and then exhaling it
back into the physical world. In the exhale, the manifestation
process begins. What were you thinking, praying, speaking, as you
inhaled those chameleon like subatomic particles? Whatever your
thoughts or actions, you have just birthed a new experience for
yourself.

The quanta have adhered to your thoughts and now are in the process
of forming and formulating a situation/experience to mirror that!
Think about that! Every breath, every thought, everyday! In a day
there are 86,400 seconds. It takes about 2 seconds for an inhale and
exhale( as a planet we are short breathers). So on a daily basis you
have approximately 43,200 experiences that are being cultivated and
birthed by you’re quantum consciousness. Knowing this start inhaling
and exhaling in a more purposeful way. A way that exhibits your
ability to consciously create your world in accordance with your
highest needs, wants, and thoughts. We are always 100% responsible
for all that we experience.

The Divine spark within us cultivates what our heart, Soul, body,
and mind yearns for! Everything you do defines who and what you are!
Every choice that you make shows what direction you are choosing to
sail your life. The choices are always multiple and all are to be
honored. Do not yell at the Universe (AKA God) when events transpire
that you dislike, change your Quanta, and your world will change.
You have heard people refer to the thought, “that is John’s world,
or Bill’s world, not mine”.

This in actuality is a perfectly divine truth. Each of us resides in
our own little universe, where the events of the day rotate around
us like our own personal solar system. Even though we interact with
others, our life experiences can only be our own. They may touch
others, but others cannot own them, or even change the shape of
them.

When people in our life are choosing a path we are not in agreement
with, we cannot magically wave our wand over that situation and
change it! We can however hold for them a vision of there highest
potential, as we see it in our heart. Holding it lovingly until they
awaken and see it for themselves. Life is much more than our Ants
view allows us to see. It is complicated, complex, and very fiber-
optic.

Strands of us touch and cross over so many. We never really see how
we touch and affect the people and situations of ourworld. It is
important that you create consciously whatever brings love & joy &
peace into your heart. Then this energy will ripple out endlessly
through all life every where. Believe in what you know in your Soul
to be possible. Never give up on your dreams. Hold the vision high
enough for the Quanta to see. Hold the Greatest Vision for yourself
and the world! What you are is Gods gift to you, what you do with
yourself is your gift to God!

The Best Phrase

The best phrase, and if you will utilize it, you will feel Energy
shift right away, is “What does it feel like to feel slender?”
Or, “What does it feel like to feel prosperous?” You can put
whatever word in there that is important to you. The reason that we
want you to hear that, “What does it feel like to feel slender?” is
because you’re screaming with every fiber of your being what it
feels like to weigh more than you want. In other words, you know
what it feels like to feel fat. You know what it feels like to feel
uncomfortable. You know what that feels like, and the Universe is
taking you at your feeling projection…

There’s power in the words “What does it feel like?” You see, you
can generate the feeling just by wanting the feeling. Most of you go
about it the hard way. You try to create a circumstance that will
then generate a feeling response, but by going right for the
feeling, the Universe will take you at your feeling vibration. The
Universe doesn’t ask for any justification. If you offered a feeling
of being slender, The Universe wouldn’t say, “Aah, aah, aah. That’s
not justified. You’re not slender yet.” The Universe does not know
whether the vibration that you’re offering is because of something
you’re observing or something you’re remembering or something that
you are imagining. It just receives the vibration and answers it
with things that match it. And every part of the Universe including
the cells of your body begin to respond to that vibration.
~abe

Releasing Resistance

Imagine this situation: A car is driving down the street at 100 mph,
and it runs into a tree which is standing right in the middle of the road.
Big problem. Two factors are involved – one is the velocity of the car
and the other is the tree standing there. If the car were only going 5
mph, even if it hit the tree, it would not be a big problem. Or it
could easily avoid the tree at 5 mph. Or, if the tree were not there at all,
the car could be going 200 mph and it would not be a problem.

Every now and again, somebody will say to us, “Abraham, is it normal
for all hell to break loose in one’s life when they begin doing Abraham
work?” And we say, “Yes, in the beginning.” Because the first thing we
encourage you to do is identify and clarify your desire. Desire is
synonymous with the velocity of the car. When you identify and clarify
your desire, your car goes faster, which means you’re likely to run
into those trees; trees which were there, in most cases, for many years, but
you were not noticing at a slower speed. Now that your energy is moving
faster because of your desire, your resistance is more apparent. Are
you getting a sense of what we’re talking about?

Most people, when they get in that situation, slow the car down. They
slow the wanting down. And that gives them a temporary feeling of
well-being. But it doesn’t do anything about the resistance. So you can
go through years, with this resistance getting a little more and your
car going slower and slower. That’s why people decline as they move
through time. They want less, which means they summon less energy -
because in wanting something that they cannot have, they were
frustrated and banging into trees, so they slow their wanting down and let their
resistance get greater and greater.

And that’s the state of affairs that you see in most people around you.
Well, what we’re wanting to teach you is to get your car going so fast
that those trees become very obvious and now you know what to do with
the trees. In other words, you stop and just talk about it until you
feel better and, in time, there are no more trees. In 30 days of
applying this, you can release 95% of them. And then now and again, an
old ugly tree that has been with you a long time will rear its ugly
head and give you a run for your money, but when that happens, at least now
you know what to do about it.

– Abraham, Fairfax, VA, 4/29/95

A Rampage of Appreciation!

Every time you appreciate something…every time you praise
something…every time you feel good about something, you are telling
the Universe: “MORE OF THIS, PLEASE!”  You need never make another
verbal statement of this intent and, if you are mostly in a state of
appreciation, all good things will flow to you.

We are often asked, “Isn’t LOVE a better word that APPRECIATION?
Isn’t LOVE more descriptive of the Non-Physical Energy?”  And we say
that LOVE and APPRECIATION are really the same vibration.  Some use
the word GRATITUDE, or a feeling of THANKFULNESS but, all of these
words are descriptive of Well-Being!

A desire to appreciate is a very good first step, and then, as you
find more things that you would like to say, “Thank you!” about, it
quickly gains momentum.  And, as you want to feel appreciation, you
ATTRACT something to appreciate. And, as you appreciate it, then you
attract something else to appreciate until, in time, you are
experiencing a Rampage of Appreciation!

ASK AND IT IS GIVEN, p. 146

Gratitude and Self-Appreciation

Two feelings are fundamental to the attracting of anything in your
life: one is gratitude, the other is self-appreciation.  When you
look at your life with gratitude, you shift your focus onto what you
like…As you practice gratiude and acknowledge what you already
have, you shift not only your focus, but also your vibraton into the
direction of MORE of the thing you are looking for.  You see, YOU
CANNOT ASK FOR ANYTHING YOU DON’T ALREADY HAVE….Health and well-
being, abundance, love and the power to create are what you are. 
They are your very being, they are your soul, and they are the
expression of the God/Goddess within you…

When you want something to come into your life, sit and think of all
the aspects of it.  Consider the ESSENCE of what it is that you
want.  For many, money is synonymous with freedom.  What else does
it represent?…Once you know what money represents to you and
understand the essence of it in your life, begin to write down all
the areas of your life in which that same essence is present.  As
you acknowledge where this essence already exists, you begin to
attract more of the same…

Let us say that money represents your freedom to travel and
explore.  If this is the essence of what you want money to do for
you, then you more than likely have that essence in your life
already in the form of a car.  Bless this car!  All things have
consciousness, awareness, even so-called inanimate objects such as
cars, houses and washing machines…

Your life is never void of what you want.  It may be in a different
form, or in a quantity that is short of where you want it to be, but
it is always there…

Gratitude is not a spiritual obligation; it is not a spiritual law
that ‘good’ and ‘loving’ people are expected to follow.  It is the
acknowledgment of the love already present in your life.  It is
using the Universal Laws to your benefit.  As you acknowledge all
things with gratitude,you  begin to radiate love, and as you do
this, you become magnetic to love, health and well-being, abundance,
and the evidence that you are creator.

John Payne – Omni Reveals the Four Principles of Creation

the most powerful forms of affirmation

The expression of praise as thanksgiving, gratitude and joy is
among the most powerful forms of affirmation…WORDS THAT EXPRESS
GRATITUDE, PRAISE AND THANKSGIVING RELEASE CERTAIN POTENT ENERGIES
OF MIND AND BODY THAT ARE NOT OTHERWISE TAPPED.  Praise also
liberates the finer essences of the soul that are necessary for a
complete healing.  Through praise and thanksgiving, you activate the
dynamic powers of the subconscious ad superconscious phases of your
being, which act speedily for your improved health…

If people only knew the healing power of laughter and joy, many of
our fine doctors would be out of business.  Joy is one of nature’s
greatest medicines.  Joy is always healthy..

When you feel you cannot go on, make it a point to practice
smiling.  Smile at the pictures on the wall.  Smile at the
furniture.  Smile until the tension has left your mind and body, and
you feel relaxed again…

MAKE IT A PRACTICE OF PRAISING YOUR PROBLEMS, TROUBLES AND DIFFICULT
EXPERIENCES.  Any experience that leads you to a deeper degree of
good should be praised.  Every sorrow, disappointment and hard
experience is trying to lead you to greater understanding which, in
turn, leads to a better way of life.  THEREFORE, YOUR HARD
EXPERIENCES SHOULD BE PRAISED.  They are a blessing in disguise…

THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING YOU CAN PRAISE.  As you do, your own good
multiplies…

A sick pocketbook also responds to the healing law of praise and
thanksgiving…WITH PRAISE AND THANKSGIVING, EVERY OBSTACLE CAN BE
OVERCOME….

CRITICISM IS PRAISE OF THE NEGATIVE…

Never under-estimate the power of praise.  It is not only the master
key to life, but one of the best antidotes for the world’s ills. 
Begin to be quietly thankful, grateful, praiseful from the time you
open your eyes in the morning until you close them at night.  This
practice will not only heal a sick body, but also a sick mind, sick
relationships, and a sick pocketbook.

Catherine Ponder (Unity) – The Dynamic Laws of Healing

Trying Too Hard?

“Thinking about interior peace destroys interior peace. The
patient who constantly feels his pulse is not getting any
better.” — Hubert van Zeller

Are you trying too hard to be good, to be perfect, to be
spiritual?

‘Trying too hard’ is an expression of fear. If you can replace
the fear with faith that everything always serves our highest
good, your confidence and peace of mind will serve your
aspirations.

“So many people work so hard, to achieve, attain, accumulate and
cherish their fortunes. How many of us blissfully fill our days
and nights being the Divine expression we are? This is the
meaning of life. It is to be. As a result, all of your creations
are a natural outflow from the Divine within your being. This is
the joy of life.” — Barbara Rose

Higher Awareness Inc.
C) Reproductions Permitted: www.higherawareness.com

9 Ways We Create By Default – If I Create My Reality: Why am I Getting This?!

In arguing against law of attraction as a valid principle, one of the most frequently asked questions is: “If I create my own reality, why on earth did I create this”? Sometimes it is phrased: “I can’t possibly be creating my reality because I never would have chosen this”. Everybody wonders about this. This article explains how we create.

How we create

We create the reality we experience by our thoughts and feelings. Our thoughts and feelings create a tone or a vibration that acts as a magnet which draws to us more of the experiences or events that will give us more of the same thoughts and feelings. This has to be brief here because volumes and volumes have been written on the specifics of how we do it and how to control it. Our dominant vibration draws situations of like vibration to us. Most of the time we are creating from default. We are not consciously aware of what we are thinking or believing, and we are not making conscious choices for our preferences.

The nine ways we create unconsciously are:

1. Habit

Current research in neuro-psychology says we think 50,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day and over 90 percent of these are the same thoughts we thought yesterday. They are often the same thoughts our parents had. We seldom examine or question the random, repeating small voice in our heads. Often it is saying things like “this is the only way to do this”, “this is just the way it is”. Or it is saying things like “this can’t happen to a person like me”, and “I’m not good enough, smart enough, lucky enough to do . . .” or “everybody knows . . .”

2. Ignorance: Not knowing I had a better choice or even any choice at all

We often don’t realize we can have a choice about things. Until we start learning about deliberate creation we often feel like we are victims of circumstance, of randomness, or of a judgmental and capricious god. None of this is true. Learning deliberate creation is empowering. We come to understand, through knowing the physics of it, that we can influence EVERYTHING in our world. And yet, we still often think, but I can’t affect my health, for instance, or but I can’t affect world events. Not true. We always have choice and we always have free will. We can affect and influence everything we experience. I don’t mean we can affect our response to it only after it has appeared in our lives, but that we can control the balance and frequency of our experience of joyful and less joyful events in our lives. Yes, it takes practice and awareness, but it can be done and it’s not too difficult to do.

3. Expectations of those around me, media conditioning, group think

How often have you heard thoughts stated like “if something can go wrong, it will”, “the change in temperature is causing everybody to catch a cold”, “because the economy is bad, jobs are hard to get now” “you’re too old – nobody your age ever did that”, “your body will deteriorate as you get older”. A friend of mine who works in the medical profession said, “all men get prostate problems as they get older”. I was horrified. I playfully punched him on the arm and reminded him not to think that way if he doesn’t want to be one of them. Advertisements, particularly on TV, and especially those by the pharmaceutical companies are powerful influencers if we believe them. They try to make you believe “everybody has . . . “, or “everybody needs . . “. Magazines, newspapers, movies and the culture we live in all perpetuate ideas they take as truth. In reality, truth can be what we define it to be for each of us.

4. Selective Observing

Observation of a state or condition brings more of the same. This is what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy. We use our minds, unconsciously, to shift through our thousands of interactions to find the ones that justify our ideas, beliefs, and expectations about the world. Then we say, “See? I knew it would be this way!” If we believe all cashiers are rude, for instance, we won’t notice all the times our experiences are pleasant. But when we encounter the one who is less than friendly, we declare it to be the truth about all cashiers. We talk about how insulted we were, we tell our friends not to shop at that store and we rehash the event over and over, magnifying our feelings with each telling. This strengthens the vibration that all cashiers are rude. The next time you go shopping you will more likely gravitate past the five cashiers who are pleasant and friendly to the one who is tired and having a bad day. Even if she says nothing to you, you will be anticipating some sort of insult and will probably find it.

5. Beliefs

A belief is a habit of thought. It is a thought we keep thinking until it becomes a paradigm, a filter, through which we view and relate to the world. Like any thought, beliefs that limit us can be changed. The tricky part is in recognizing our beliefs as thoughts about a thing and not as the absolute, unchangeable truth about the thing. A lot of our beliefs are below our level of conscious awareness. “I can’t do that, I’m not skilled, talented, rich, lucky enough”. “I have to work hard to make money.” “Taxes eat up everything.” “Easy come, easy go.” “No gain without pain.” “Life is hard”. A friend of mine says she learned from her parents that, “People like us. . “ usually finished by, “always have to work hard”, “never get a break”, “don’t have the means to travel”.

Those of us who think we’re scientific use statistics to justify or ‘prove’ our beliefs. Yet, there is the quote by Mark Twain, “There are three kinds of lies: there are lies, damn lies and statistics.” We know statistics and even scientific experiments usually show only what we expect to see. In quantum physics this is called the ‘observer effect’. If we accept our beliefs without question, we create our reality from them. When we change the beliefs, we create our reality by choice and through joy.

6. Momentum from the recent past in this life

Manifesting, from the time we think or feel a powerful thought to the time we experience our creation, can take a while. Sometimes, even though we have changed our thoughts and beliefs about a thing in the meantime, we still find ourselves experiencing the previous condition. We are just experiencing thoughts we set into motion in the past. The important thing to remember is that the thoughts we are thinking today create our future. It is not inevitable that things will stay the same, as we are often willing to believe. We can choose from this moment on what we want in our future.

7. Other people’s thought forms

When we are vibrating with a particular belief, perhaps one of fear or victimization, we can attract other people’s thought forms that are vibrating at the same rate. Then we experience feeling out of control and overwhelmed. We feel victimized. You may say, “but I never worried about being in a car accident”. Yet the car accident may have been attracted by your vibration of “accidents happen frequently, all drivers are crazy except me, I’m vulnerable to everyone else’s craziness out here, I feel unsafe” and thoughts like that. When we attract other thought forms to support our positive beliefs we feel incredibly lucky and we experience wonderful synchronicities.

8. Karmic choice from past life or bleed through influence of other parallel lives

In reincarnation theory, people believe we make choices about what we want to experience before we are born on this plane. Physicists tell us all time is simultaneous and we are living all our lives at the same time right now. A third theory has parallel worlds and universes splitting off to live their own existence each and every time we make a decision. Then each of these splits again with the next decision we make – a mind-boggling concept. Whether you believe in past lives or parallel lives or the many – worlds hypothesis, we are multidimensional personalities. Other parts of our psyche are off having their own experiences while we are here living on planet Earth trying to pay the rent. At times, usually brief and spontaneous, we sometimes become aware of ‘another self’ and we find ourselves feeling and sensing through that person’s senses. We can, with consciousness, make choices about how much of this we allow, and about what we are willing to have enter our experience.

9. Subconscious agreement to experience the state for the expansion of it

We are all eternal beings. We are not here to learn lessons and progress back to the godhead, as if we are some fallen angels who have to earn our promotion. We are here on this plane for the joy of the experience and to express our creativity, our individuality and our free will. We choose some experiences that may seem less than pleasant in the short run, just to know that experience. Choosing illness, poverty, or extreme circumstances in one lifetime may be similar to folks who like bungy jumping or sky diving for a brief moment in this lifetime. Maybe it’s a feels – so – good – when – it – stops kind of thing, yet you have the feelings of achievement and accomplishment for having come through the experience. Any time you get the feeling that you are dangling on the end of a bungy cord, be aware that it is a choice you made and remember that you are always free to make another choice.

Creating with Deliberate Intention

Conscious, deliberate creation is what we are all here to experience. It is not a “lesson” we have to learn. We are whole, perfect and complete already. There are no lessons; there is only the joy of creating. Think of children building sand castles. There is no lesson, there is no reason for it – it is just fun. We build them, we live in them for a few minutes, or a few lifetimes, then we knock them down because we have a new idea we want to experience. This is our God-nature; expansive, creative, always experiencing the new for no other reason than for joy.

What you focus on expands

Ow! I just hit my thumb with a hammer! Do I really need to spend an hour figuring out why it happened, how it happened, what actually happened, what beliefs I had, ad infinitum? Or do I just want to be more careful from now on? Maybe put some ice on it and continue with the project. As we focus on the pain, we are more aware of it. Concentration, with intensity on it, strengthens our vibe of pain. As I continue to think about my thumb and how much it hurts, I am much more likely to hit it again. When you throw a baseball, you look at where you want the ball to go. When you hammer a nail, you should focus on the nail, not on your thumb. It is the same with every part of our lives. If we want more money and more abundance in our experience we need to focus on having more, doing more, experiencing more. We won’t get there by thinking of how little we have.

Most of the dumb things we do, the dumb decisions we make and the dumb situations we create are no more significant than “accidentally” hitting our thumb. They are not meaningful life lessons. As westerners, we have over-developed our reasoning ability at the expense of our intuition. We have bought into the Freudian concept that everything has meaning and can explain our lives. But even he said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar”. We look for external significance in everything – even if a bird dumps on our shoulder as we are getting into the car. Yet we can no longer hear our soul’s voice. We create our lives though our habits of thought and most of our thoughts are not ones we’d like to live.

The key is to let an unwanted thought go quickly and focus on what you really want. The ‘why’ of why you created it doesn’t matter. It is like asking why you smoke cigarettes – another ‘bad’ (unwanted is a more apt word) habit. Well, it could be you have an anal fixation, you were toilet trained too early, you have anxiety and you need something to do with your hands, you think you look cool, your friends do it, whatever. . .

Does it really matter? As you analyze it and think about it and worry about it and come back to it over and over and over (as we do when we try to figure something out) are you thinking more about smoking or about stopping? Thinking about a condition draws that condition to you. If you have a choice, which is more important: understanding the real reason or stopping? They are, after all, opposite vibrations. All that matters is that you stop, if that is your desire. Make a different choice every time the temptation arises and eventually, sooner than you think, you will have changed the habit. Understanding ‘why’ just wastes time.

Why did you get sick? It could be as simple as because the TV keeps telling you you should get sick because everybody will, or because it’s

that season, or because you’re at that age, and because you didn’t know you had a choice about it. Why don’t I have a better job? It could be that you learned from your parents an attitude that jobs are difficult and stressful and you should be grateful for having one at all and not try to find another. Now, you can just make another choice.

Here’s a radical idea: We don’t have to learn from every negative experience in our lives, particularly if we’re just acting out of habit or group think. There is nothing deep or profound to learn. It is merely a bad habit to be changed. The only lesson is: don’t do it any more. We seldom, if ever, analyze to death the good things that happen. Why did I create this wonderful experience in my life? What does it mean that I create so much joy and bring so much beauty to so many? What does it mean that my life is working smoothly and I’m having a lot of fun? Why is this happening to me? Do we “EVER” do that? Well, why not? We know the ‘why’ doesn’t matter. All that matters is to do it.

Abraham (Abraham-Hicks teachings) and Seth (from the books by Jane Roberts) both say we are here to have fun. That is the only reason. To express our creativity and our personalities and our preferences in learning how to create our reality. For fun. Because the creative urge is an urge toward expansion, toward light, toward more (of everything) and it’s fun. Shiva dances in his joy in creating the world. Isn’t this a wonderful image? We should all be dancing with the joy of our creations.

We can choose to grow thru ease. We can choose to expand thru joy. When we create unpleasant experiences for ourselves, we can intend to learn quickly that we don’t need to do that. “No pain, no gain” is an archaic, Judeo-Christian belief rooted in the dual concepts of good and evil. We know there is only the Oneness of the unified field. Why not focus on the quantum possibilities? Why not consider that what you focus on is what you attract – and focus on what you want?

Wouldn’t you rather be having more fun?

Copyright 2006. All rights reserved.

Lorna maintains an international Law of Attraction Coaching practice. From time to time she has openings for new clients. If you would like some help in consciously using the law of attraction in your life with ease, visit her website: http://www.transform-u.com.