Law of Attraction: 7 Steps to Create a Fulfilling, Loving Relationship #3 in a series

One in a series to deepen our understanding of the Law of Attraction in our lives.

Get yourself a nice notebook – one that you can write in and make notes. Let it be one that makes you feel good when you look at it. Then follow the steps below.

1.  Make a list of all the qualities you want your partner to have – looks, personality, job, 
attitudes, etc. Make it as long as you can continue to think of things. Look back at your 
previous relationships and include all the good qualities people in your past have had. Come 
back and add to it as you think of more qualities. Some of mine are like to dance, be outgoing, 
like to cook, be affectionate, wear dreads, own a tux, be intelligent, tall, be adventurous, 
be ambitious, have lots of free time to spend with me, etc. Make it as outrageous as you want – 
just let yourself dream. Don’t censor and don’t decide that any of it is impossible to have. 
Write it all down. My list has about 130 characteristics on it.
 
2.  Go over your list and decide which qualities are ‘must haves’ and which qualities are ‘nice to haves’. 
On my ‘must have’ list I have honesty, integrity, open to spirituality, non-cigarette smoker, good 
health, virile, have his own money, and emotionally generous. Knowing your ‘must haves’ keeps you from 
wasting time with folks who are ‘nice’ or have ‘potential’ but aren’t there yet. You’re not looking 
for somebody to train; you are looking for someone to complement you. So you need to be clear about 
what is most important to you. So, for me, the first time someone lies to me, they are out. No second 
chances. Any one who thinks I should help support them financially is out before he’s even considered. 
Smokers stink – I don’t want that smell in my house or car. No consideration is given to, “but I’m gonna 
stop smoking”. No argument; no discussion. Be clear about what Dr. Phil calls deal breakers. ‘Wants 
kids’ might be on your list, or ‘likes my kids’ – if you already have children.
 
3.  Look at past relationships you’ve been in for patterns of behaviors you don’t want. Get clear about 
what you’ve been attracting. What did you get from past lovers – in terms of feelings, or self esteem, 
or things that happened over and over. What is it you believe all men do? Or all women? Look at this 
and realize it is not true; it is just true of who you attracted. How did they treat you? Did they 
listen to you? Were they caring when you needed them to be? Were they considerate, prompt, or 
disappointing? Look for the similarities in personality in everyone you’ve been with. Write these down. 
Then look for similarities in your feelings about every one you’ve been with. And really notice how 
you felt most of the time in the relationship. Was it the way you want to feel? Write this all down.
 
4.  Now write the opposite of all the negative qualities you found in step 3. How would you rather feel 
or be treated? For example, when I did this, I found that my predominant feelings in most of my 
relationships were of frustration, not being listened to, being disappointed, rejection, distance, 
feeling belittled, or having men wanting to change me. The opposites I wrote down were I want to feel 
included, talked to, heard, respected, nurtured, challenged and taught, adored, important to someone, 
to be liked (I’ve been loved by people I wasn’t sure liked me) and enjoyed – my company, my presence, 
my humor. This shows you what you want in a relationship.
 
5.  And of course, write down all the other positive qualities you can think of that you want to have or 
to feel in a relationship. I want to laugh a lot and giggle at stupid stuff. I want to have long, 
endless, fascinating conversations that go on and on and stretch my mind. I want fun. I want beautiful 
surprises. I want new adventures together. I want paint-peeling sex where we take each other higher 
than we’ve ever been before. I want public displays of affection – lots of hugging and kissing and 
hand-holding. You get the drift.
 
6.  To silence the little “I’m not good enough” voice, write down all the reasons why you are a great 
catch and are a joy to be in a relationship with. I’m loving, sweet, patient, a great cook, I like 
football, I don’t nag; whatever is true of you. Remind yourself why you are wonderful because you are 
and you know it.
 
7.  Now here is the fun part. Spend as much time as you can, when ever you can, thinking about and 
imagining the qualities in 4 and 5. Let yourself daydream; let yourself smile. Feel it and imagine how 
it will be and live in the feeling of it. And when you feel you are not good enough, remind yourself 
of all of your worthiness in 6.
 
Look for evidence as encouragement that it’s coming. If you had a glorious conversation at work, that’s 
evidence. If you feel loved when your dog puts his chin on your leg, that’s evidence. If your best 
friend does something small but thoughtful for you, that’s evidence. As you do this and your vibe of 
expectation gets stronger, you’ll find your partner. Your partner will be pulled in on the field of 
expectation you’ve created around you and all your experiences will be as joyful as your imaginings.
 
I know; I’ve done this.
 
 Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.
 

Lorna maintains an international Law of Attraction Coaching practice. From time to time she has openings for new clients. If you would like some help in consciously using the law of attraction in your life with ease, visit her website: http://TheLawofAttractionTeacher.com

 

Law of Attraction: Creating a Mercedes Benz # 11 in a series

     When I wanted a Benz and had no idea how to get one nor money – I would get in my rusty, bent up Hyundai and say to myself, “I love driving my Benz!” “I’m so lucky to have this beautiful car!” I just pretended – in every way I could think of – whenever I thought of it – that I was driving a Benz. When I parked in a lot and they hid my car in the back behind the others, but the nice cars are parked up front for everybody to see – I’d pretend one of them was mine – just by looking at it and feeling glad it was mine, or saying, again to myself silently, “I love the way they always park my car up front”. I’d ‘see’ admiring looks when I was driving my pretend Benz, and when I went to get the Hyundai fixed I’d hear the guy saying “It’s such a joy to work on this car!” I could 'feel' it as I was driving my Hyundai – I’d feel it was handling like a Mercedes, I could ‘smell’ it – leather seats, not cloth; heated in winter.

     I think about 6 months after I started this, (this was 10 years ago) someone stole my Hyundai. So I went out and bought a Benz! Now I always knew the model I wanted – either the little 380 or 450 or 560 SL convertible – so that’s all I ever saw myself in. They all look the same and have, more or less, the same features except the engine size, so I really didn’t care which one. And I didn’t know what color. When I started shopping for a car, I knew I’d be led to the right car. I looked at BMW’s, and the Toyota Celica and the Nissan 300ZX. None of them felt right. I still thought I couldn’t afford a Benz – I had a limited amount of money to spend and all the Benzes I saw were too expensive. Eventually, I found one that was the model I wanted and the price I could afford, but I felt the color was wrong – it was champagne tan. But that let me know my car was close. Then I found an ad for a lapis blue 380SL at my price and I went right up and said, “I’ll have one of those, thank you”. And I’ve been loving it ever since.

     This is an instance of attracting/creating a specific thing because I was certain that I wanted it. We can also create by focusing on the qualities we want. In a new (or used, but new to us) car one might want: safety, reliability, comfortable, room for the kids and their friends, gas efficient, stylish, affordable. You might want particular features – CD player or DVD for the kids, all wheel drive, heated leather seats. When I create a car, some of the qualities I always want are: a convertible, snazzy, fast, looks good and I look good in it, fun to drive, fast, easily affordable, safe and reliable. You can specify the qualities and the features you want without knowing the exact make and model you want. Source will then bring it all together for you. Using law of attraction is so much fun!

 copyright 2009.  All rights reserved.

Beyond the Secret: A review of the movie by Bob Proctor

Lots of talking heads. That was my first impression. Lots of folks no one knows, and a few who are known, talking about motivation. Not the most exciting format. Motivation, success thinking, and goal setting are fine topics and, when you put a lot of effort in, they work.

But they are not the same as law of attraction – an entirely different philosophy. Law of attraction is a spiritual teaching with roots in the very ancient Vedas. Presently, the most popular teachers of law of attraction are Esther and Jerry Hicks, and Abraham. Just about everything we know and understand today about law of attraction has come from the books by the Hickses.

The best selling movie, The Secret, was based on Esther Hicks work. That is, until Esther was edited out due to a dispute on legal property rights. That doesn’t change the fact that her work was the basis for the whole movie. The second edition of The Secret brought in a lot of other folks to fill Esther’s shoes and talk about law of attraction as they understood it.

The Secret doesn’t work for most people. The reason is that it is not a pure teaching. When Esther, and all her words, were edited out, the teaching lost its clarity. It became like the children’s game of Telephone – where you whisper in one person’s ear and they whisper the same thing on down the line. When it gets to the end of the line and the person says out loud what they heard, it is never anything like what the original person said. Usually it is pretty laughable.

That is my feeling when I watch Beyond the Secret. Everyone is giving their own interpretation of something they don’t understand very well. It is a mish-mosh of teachings and ideas, with no sound philosophy to unite them, and so they don’t work together very well.

When Esther was asked why doesn’t The Secret work for people, she replied that the most essential parts had been left out. Beyond the Secret suffers from the same problem. There is no reference to Source and our connection to Source as spiritual beings. There was only a passing mention of vibration. Not nearly enough attention was given to ways to actually change vibration from the inside out.

Beyond the Secret also gives a lot of attention to finding your purpose and then taking action to live your purpose. Law of attraction, as taught by Abraham, Seth – another important teacher of law of attraction, and Ernest Holmes, still another important teacher, all say our only purpose in life is to experience joy. Action is not emphasized by any of these law of attraction teachers; alignment with our goals is much more important. When we are aligned everything comes to us. When we are not aligned, all the action in the world won’t make our goals happen. Alignment is something we each do inside our minds.

The basic steps to achieving your goals as explained in Beyond the Secret are: 1.- follow your purpose, 2.- take action, 3.- find a mentor, and 4.- share your goals with others. Sharing your goals with others is an easy way to get off track. It can lead to opening yourself up to an energy drain. It can also sabotage you in a number of other different ways. You may share with someone who doesn’t take your desires seriously. Even if that person does not overtly ridicule you, their doubt will be evident in every question they ask you. They may give you a sense of pressure to accomplish and a very real fear of failure if they are always asking where it is. Most folks don’t understand that a thing has to be accomplished on the inside first, before it is seen on the outside. Few people understand that any manifestation is 99% complete on the inner realms before we see it in the physical. Constantly checking on your progress, or having someone else asking you, is energetically like planting a seed and digging it up every day to see how it is doing. It won’t do very well with that kind of scrutiny.

Beyond the Secret suffers from the same problem that plagued Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich for so many years. After Hill’s death publishers began to edit the book to make it more ‘friendly’. They took out all references to vibration and by doing that, took out all the references to what really made it work. Only when large numbers of people didn’t get effective results did someone go back and compare the latest editions with the original. Then they found all the crucial parts had been edited out. The emphasis on vibration is the key. You have to embody your goal. You have to align with it in consciousness to attain it. You have to believe it is possible and you have to expect it.

Beyond the Secret is a movie that doesn’t quite know what it wants to be. By titling it that, Bob Proctor invites comparisons with The Secret and implies that it is a movie that will tell you how to use the law of attraction more effectively. Yet, with its emphasis on outwardly directed action, it seems to have very little to do with the art and science of consciously creating reality.

And now we offer you a fun and easy way to align with your goals. Lorna, internationally known as TheLawofAttractionTeacher.com has a free gift for you when you visit her site. Click here to find out more about daily alignment and claim your gift. www.ManifestingMinute.com